lesser breeds of dogs - just kidding ;)
w/Frederique and Sheena (AB). LOOK AT THOSE MUGS!!!
they adorable or what?! Cameron, Frederique and Sheena are under
the custody and absolute tyrannical rule of Christina, the webmistress
with a whip of American Bulldog
Outpost. She has been feeding all three of them a low protein
diet trying to control any possible adverse affects of fast growth.
From what I hear, she's had successful results. Frederique and Sheena
are puppies and, believe it or not, Cameron is 17 years old in the pictures.
Christina believes that all three will reach their full size potential
upon maturity - 2 years for the ABs and 21 years for Cameron. Christina
believes that Cammy's head will still widen a little bit more even after
Cameron's 21st birthday. She wants me to be Cammy's agent when he
signs with either the NBA or NFL four years from now. When
I expressed skepticism, Christina told me not to worry, assured me that
Cameron will make up all of his growth in the next four years, and told
me to concentrate on getting him a huge signing bonus. Although I
understand the low protein diet for Cameron, I still fail to understand
why he has not been potty trained. Christina just keeps muttering
something about starting with paper training with the puppies and then
moving on to being fully house broken by the time Cameron is 21 years old.
She says that it's a little slower than other methods but that by the time
Cameron is 21, he will be absolutely trustworthy alone in the house.
In addition to controlling growth, with the strict low protein diet, Christina
has noticed and appreciated a significant decline in gaseous emanations
from the rear ends of all three. She heartily recommends such a diet
to all mothers and dog owners. With her savings from her grocery
bill, Christina is buying her own x-ray machine.
belonged to my buddy, Mitch. Heavy Maverick breeding. This
bulldog had it all, gameness, hard bite, ability and looks. Unfortunately,
he and his momma (a great gyp) were stolen off of Mitch's yard. Here's
hoping that those dog thieves don't pass through the goal posts of life
after the end of the fourth quarter.
Kristen and her dogs are in search of a good man with a full bite suit
and great ability with a baton. BTW, apparently Kristen is good looking
and genetically blessed - just ask all the bikers that constantly
try to pick her up and her mechanic that keeps fixing her car....for FREE.
Puzzled by all of Kristen's encounters with bikers whose compliments and
attention Kristen says she detests, I asked Kristen how she managed to
keep running into bikers and Kristen replied that she knows all the places
where bikers hang out in Florida, in order to avoid them she says.
If you have a full bite suit and a baton (or are willing to get them),
live in Florida or are willing to travel, and think you qualify,
drop me a note and I'll relay your wishes to Kristen. Please be sure
to send me pictures of the bite suit and baton (this is a requirement which
Kristen will NOT compromise on). Serious inquiries only! Posers
need not apply. There will not necessarily be only one successful applicant.
w/Robbie (Border Collie).
sheep herding dog!
took this picture with Robbie before dipping into the pool for his daily
practice session for synchronized swimming. Matt aspires to join
the U.S. synchronized swim team - he believes that lots of practice and
a sex discrimination suit will make his life long dream a reality.
He has been begging me on a daily basis to represent him on a pro bono
basis (i.e., for FREE). While awaiting the initiation of litigation,
Matt practices in the family swimming pool (he refuses to discuss the recent
ugly incident at the nearby community swimming pool) and makes sure that
he removes all unnecessary body hair. Matt is the center of attention
at social functions where he shows everyone his synchronized swimming routine
(just the head and arm movements since he is on dry land).
Spud w/the cast of the
"Big Chill" during good times.
above is Spud on the set of a Hollywood movie he was all set to star in
until he wouldn't play the well known casting couch game with the producer/director
of the film. As Spud says: "I don't care how much he's into
doggie style, I'm not into bestiality!" Sick and tired of the Hollywood
Babylon scene, this morally correct bully made some small independent films
on his own and recently retired to the Australian outbacks.
Still bitter about the lost opportunity to become a star in a blockbuster
Hollywood film, Spud is currently trying to get financing for a script
he wrote as a star vehicle for himself: "Bully Dundee". In
the meantime, he is starring in a small Australian movie, "Mad Spud" -
about a bully going berserk in the Australian outback trying to get revenge
against a gang of psychotic kola bears who urinated on his family while
they were picnicking under a eucalyptus tree. Unable to get his own
home, Spud is currently residing at the dwelling of Marty and Jane.
Spud says the living conditions are great and Marty and Jane are good people
other than the fact that Marty wants him to mix it up with an outback wild
boar when Jane is not looking and Jane insists that Spud wear a party hat
and listen (using his cinema experience) as she recites all the lines from
the Star Wars trilogy when it is his birthday. We at American Bulldog
Madness have been fortunate enough to get Spud, the movie star, to join
forces with Terra, the Hollywood prodigy, and do reviews of movies in a
section of this website called: Bullies
on Film .
Spud with Babe, the local
female he is shacking up with.
|Spud thought he was going
to get an Elle McPherson or Nicole Kidman when he went to the Land Down
Under. Instead, he ended up getting a Kathy Bates. Spud is
ashamed to admit it but Babe has sent him to the hospital on numerous occassions.
Babe is a real something else that starts with the letter "b". Against
all advice, Spud is trapped in a tragic and endless cycle of violence.
Spud has started a non-profit organization, Pulverized Unceasingly Shamelessly
and SillY (or P.U.S.S.Y): the first step - to admit in front of the
rest of the group: "My name is ________, and I get my butt kicked
by my woman."
is an APBT belonging to Todd Fenstermacher.
Some of you may be familiar with that name. He wrote a book on APBTs
and in the past, judged for the American Bulldog Association. Todd's
as honest as the day is long, very knowledgeable about dogs and is HILARIOUS.
Anyway, Todd says that Bonehead's left ear leans the way it does because
after his ears were clipped, Bonehead always lay around the house on his